Post by Dr Demented on Apr 24, 2006 18:03:05 GMT -5
(MGWire--April 24, 2006)---Howard Stern was devastated in horror today as he learned that the O&A Army was sitting in his old chair at the CBS studios where he was formerly employed.
The "O&A Army", consisting of one lone fan, gleefully announced that Howard Stern was a failure.
"Howard Stern doesn't have any listeners on FM Radio anymore...so he's an utter failure," said Jo-Bob McGee as his lips quivered near Les Moonves' soiled rectum.
Moonves recently cackled in glee as XM Radio was brought to it's own collective knees with the pants around the ankles.
"I just live to fuck people in the ass. Men. I love to fuck Men in the ass," Moonves uttered as Opie & Anthony were sighted underneath his massive marble desk, servicing his miniscule member,
"Howard Stern is mine too. He will have to live every day in the knowledge that he is no longer welcome on FM Radio, but his money and ideas are fair game."
Stern reportedly hung his head in shame as he acknowledged on his failing Sirius show that CBS has won, and that he is devastated by the fact that he only brought a mere 4 million subscribers to the flailing satellite service.
"I am a failure," he said. "That chair was broken and tattered, it's true...but it was my chair. How can I live any longer knowing that they are in that dark, moldy and stain-ridden office? They're probably even using my old microphone."
"Some days, " Stern continued "I would give up everything Sirius has done for me if only I could have my old stinky office back. You know, the one that I was in such a hurry to leave every day."
It is unclear if Sirius plans to sue Stern for the money that they wasted so frivilously on his show.
"We're looking at options every day," said Sirius Attorney John Wang, "I mean, he has only brought us 4 million additional subscribers in the past 4 months...and that is just not enough. "
;D
The "O&A Army", consisting of one lone fan, gleefully announced that Howard Stern was a failure.
"Howard Stern doesn't have any listeners on FM Radio anymore...so he's an utter failure," said Jo-Bob McGee as his lips quivered near Les Moonves' soiled rectum.
Moonves recently cackled in glee as XM Radio was brought to it's own collective knees with the pants around the ankles.
"I just live to fuck people in the ass. Men. I love to fuck Men in the ass," Moonves uttered as Opie & Anthony were sighted underneath his massive marble desk, servicing his miniscule member,
"Howard Stern is mine too. He will have to live every day in the knowledge that he is no longer welcome on FM Radio, but his money and ideas are fair game."
Stern reportedly hung his head in shame as he acknowledged on his failing Sirius show that CBS has won, and that he is devastated by the fact that he only brought a mere 4 million subscribers to the flailing satellite service.
"I am a failure," he said. "That chair was broken and tattered, it's true...but it was my chair. How can I live any longer knowing that they are in that dark, moldy and stain-ridden office? They're probably even using my old microphone."
"Some days, " Stern continued "I would give up everything Sirius has done for me if only I could have my old stinky office back. You know, the one that I was in such a hurry to leave every day."
It is unclear if Sirius plans to sue Stern for the money that they wasted so frivilously on his show.
"We're looking at options every day," said Sirius Attorney John Wang, "I mean, he has only brought us 4 million additional subscribers in the past 4 months...and that is just not enough. "
;D